i made a new skyrim character whose main goal in life is to steal all of the cheese in skyrim for herself
she hasn’t gotten very far yet but she’s off to a good start
three cities worth of cheese… i’d call that progress
marvel’s got movies planned out for the next fourteen years god damn i don’t even know what i’m going to be doing in an hour…
things i need to do:
- clean my room
- get a college degree
- learn how to have healthy relationshipsthings i want to do:
things i actually am doing:
- play with puppies and kittens
- find someone cute to cuddle and make out with
- drive to the ocean
- taking subpar selfies
- running a semi successful blog
- listening to sad songs and watching too much netflix
This accurately describes my life…
you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face
"We live in a world where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity"
Um ok but I don’t recall my virginity having 16 GB of memory with all my contacts, music, photos, calendars, and apps or costing over $200.
my phone is an expensive and important material object and not a useless social construct put in place to shame and commodify women
Plus I remember where I lost my virginity.
I love how girls are so chill like yea touch my boobs wanna snuggle heck yes but two guys will bump into eachother and be like woA NO HOMO MAN.